Trump Declares Nov 3 Climate Change Day And Urges Concerned Citizens To Remain At Home

The U.S. President uses executive privilege to declare a national holiday and orders the closure of all government operations and conservative media outlets.

WASHINGTON D.C. (The Blunt Ogre) — Echoing the sentiments of many liberal-leaning voters, Trump has attempted to appeal to concerned environmentalists by calling on all of those who are concerned about the environment to not use their automobiles on November 3, as well as turn off all non-essential electrical devices such as TV’s, smartphones, and radios. To mark the occasion, the President has declared the first Tuesday of every November as the official day when all people who wish to fight climate change will show their support for the environment by staying at home.

In Other News

Trump Orders all Early Vote Ballots To Undergo DNA Testing

WASHINGTON D.C. (The Blunt Ogre) — Citing concerns over voter fraud, President Trump has signed an executive order that requires that all 93 million mail-in ballots be tested to make sure that they are in fact who they say they are.

Trump Declares A State Of Emergency In 11 States

WASHINGTON D.C. (The Blunt Ogre) — Concerned about the growing number of Democrats voting in key states, President Trump has ordered all Democrats into confinement for the states of Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Michigan, Nevada, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Texas, and Wisconsin. This morning the President stated “if you look at the numbers, the real numbers, not the fake news numbers but the ones that the people who know what they’re talking about say, those numbers, then it’s clear that this a Democrat issue. All the states with Covid-19 problems, they’re all run by Dems, so making those people stay home is what needs to be done for the safety of all Republican party.” President Trump has said the confinement cannot be lifted until after 9:00 pm PST on November 3.

CDC Ranks Covid-19 As The Third Leading Cause Of American Deaths Behind McDonald’s And Cinnabon

ATLANTA (The Blunt Ogre) — Surpassing Budweiser, Oreo Shakes, and Pop-Tarts, the Center for Disease Control has released a new report that shows that the Coronavirus has now claimed more American lives in 2020 than Arby’s Curly Fries, Outback Bloomin Onion, and Popeyes Chicken Tenders combined.

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